“For as the heavens are high above the earth, so great is His mercy toward those who fear Him; As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us. As a father pities his children, so the Lord pities those who fear Him. For He knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust.” – Psalm 103:11-14
“My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord, nor detest His correction; For whom the Lord loves He corrects, just as a father the son in whom he delights.” – Proverbs 3:11-12
As we continue in this series on Love Fueled Sacrifice, I hope that you have been blessed in considering the amazing, sacrificial love of God to you in Christ Jesus, your Lord. I pray that you have a great and greater thankfulness for His mercies to you, and His Spirit’s ongoing work in you, as He has revealed His love to you, as well as has given you a heart of love for Him. I pray that you have a growing zeal and commitment heed His call and command to sacrificially love others in the various stations and relationships He has placed you in.
As such love must be bountifully present and evident in godly marriages, it also must be so in godly parents. Parents, think about this for a moment. Do you love your children sacrificially? If so, in what ways is that true? This depth of love is not only essential for you to understand, but also essential for you to display the love of Christ, and keep it in practice every day with your children. As you who are parents know all too well, loving your children sacrificially involves just that. It comes with sacrifice and cost in a variety of ways!
Fathers, as you are sinners raising and training young sinners under your headship in the admonition of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4), you are to persevere in carrying out that duty through all of the ups and downs. Teaching children of all ages to love God and their neighbor as themselves in all of the facets that God calls us to, all the while through non-provocative parenting, is hard. Your parenting will be a mix of success and failure in your expression of love and the fruit of lessons learned. Mothers, as you are sinners teaching young sinners to obey your law (Proverbs 1:8), the path of those lessons is full of laughter and tears. The love of a mother, and her desire for her children to be healthy God fearing men and women who know and trust in Christ, runs deep with all the more sacrifice.
As children are called to hear and heed the instruction and commands of their father, along with not forsaking the law of their mother, with all of the trials you have gone through, you’re going through, and will go through in doing so, you parents must daily mortify your flesh. You must set your pride aside. You must deal with ungodly anger and anxiety, and show your children Christ-like love as one who is willing to lay down your life for them.
But, there are positive aspects of love fueled sacrifice in parenting, aren’t there? Indeed! The love of fathers and mothers is clearly seen through the protection, provision, care, nurture, discipline, and compassion that they pour out upon their children. (Westminster Larger Catechism 129) It’s seen in the time that’s set aside and the focused attention that you give to them. Make sure you do so! Consider the connection King David makes between the pity a father has towards his son and that which God has towards you, His children in Psalm 103:13. In the Hebrew, this “pity” literally presses the deep love and merciful compassion of a father that both teaches and points you to the love and compassion of your heavenly Father.
Also consider the following 6 qualities of the pity of a godly father and your heavenly Father, and prayerfully seek the Lord for His grace in these being active in your life.
- A godly father pities his children when they lack knowledge and teaches them.
- He shows compassion towards them when they are difficult to deal with and is patient with them.
- A godly father pities them when they are sick and comforts them.
- He pities his children when they fall and helps them up again.
- A godly father shows compassion when they offend and forgives them.
- He pities them when they are sinned against and seeks to help them find remedy to set things right.
It’s true that this pity doesn’t come naturally. Every bit of it is the fruit of the work of the Spirit. Do you know the compassion of your God towards those who fear Him? Do you have such compassion towards your children? Never forget the love fueled, merciful compassion that your Lord has towards you in Christ. May you seek His grace to strengthen and restore your pity towards your children.
Tied to this, also think more about the discipline that comes from the love of God and delight of a father in Proverbs 3. Disciplining your children isn’t fun. You should never get kicks out of correction. Your children need to learn that enduring chastening is painful for a time, but afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. (Hebrews 12:11) Both you and your children need to know and remember regularly that biblical discipline is fueled by divine love for you and your children’s growth and sanctification to the glory of God. Yes, as you seek to be faithful in lovingly disciplining your children, your heavenly Father is developing and strengthening you in character and obedience as He is training them in both their honor and obedience to you, as well as to Him.
Therefore, check and guard your love towards your children, Beloved. Seek God’s grace to delight in them every day as you can easily become jaded towards them. You can easily get to the point where you would rather withhold love from them, instead of being ready to lay down your lives down for them like Christ did for us, especially when trials spike and love needs to be tough. It’s true that grief and mourning are no strangers to love. Neither are healthy boundaries and wisdom in discipline. There are times to weep and times to rejoice.
With this in mind, make sure your love is balanced. Love your children in correction, as well as the positive aspects of patience, kindness, and all other characteristics of love. Invest in them. Be willing to make sacrifices for them. Endure the costs that your love entails. Be concerned for their well being, providing and caring for them in all the ways that are good for them. Instruct them in the knowledge and grace of Christ and lead them in the paths of righteousness. Teach them how they ought to live as followers of Christ, and then show them by example as you imitate Him.
There is much more I could write, but I’ll put a bookmark here for now.