“The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but he who heeds counsel is wise.” – Proverbs 12:15
“Where there is no counsel, the people fall; But in the multitude of counselors there is safety.” – Proverbs 11:14
“Then King Rehoboam consulted the elders who stood before his father Solomon while he still lived, and he said, “How do you advise me to answer these people?” – 1 Kings 12:6
In the good process of sharpened shepherding, it’s right and necessary for shepherds to seek to encourage and sharpen the sheep under their care. It’s right and necessary for shepherds to seek to shepherd fellow shepherds. It’s also good and right for both sheep and shepherds to not just sit or walk along in their times of need waiting for the shepherds to come to them but rather seek their shepherds for counsel and help when needs arise.
Of the many reasons why folks withhold or shy away from seeking such counsel, some include: 1) feeling needy and desire their elders to pursue them, 2) feeling uneasy or nervous about opening up and being vulnerable with their elders, especially about sensitive subjects, 3) thinking that their elders may not be able to handle their situation and provide skilled, helpful counsel, 4) being embarrassed or ashamed that they don’t have the answer themselves and need help, 5) feeling confident or over-confident that they can solve their problem or need without help, or 6) they’ve made up their mind and don’t want to seek counsel. Even so, they might be concerned that the elders may disagree with them or change their mind. What reasons can you add to this list?
And yet, are any of these reasons sufficient for you to stay away? No. There are many good and important reasons to seek and heed such counsel.
- You need to do so recognizing and living according to the truth that your elders are those men who are called by God to watch out for your souls, as those who must give account. Therefore, God’s call is for you to obey and be submissive to them. (Hebrews 13:17) They are the governors and overseers of your church who you vowed to submit to in the Lord.
- As Westminster Larger Catechism expounds on the 5th Commandment, questions 127-128 teach you about the relationship between inferiors and superiors. As an inferior to your elders (superiors) you are to honor your elders, giving “all due reverence in heart, word, and behavior; prayer and thanksgiving for them; imitation of their virtues and graces; willing obedience to their lawful commands and counsels; due submission to their corrections…” (Q. 127, 1 Pet. 2:13-14) Likewise, you must stay away from sin against your superiors by neglecting “your duties required toward them; envying at, contempt of, and rebellion against their persons and places, in their lawful counsels, commands, and corrections;…” (Q. 128, 1 Sam. 2:25)
- What duties do your elders have to you? They are “to love, pray for, and bless their inferiors; to instruct, counsel, and admonish them; countenancing, commending, and rewarding such as do well; and discountenancing, reproving, and chastising such as do ill…” (Q. 129, Eph. 6:4) What are some of the sins your elders have to guard against? “besides the neglect of the duties required of them, an inordinate seeking of themselves, their own glory, ease, profit, or pleasure; commanding things unlawful, or not in the power of inferiors to perform; counseling, encouraging, or favoring them in that which is evil; dissuading, discouraging, or discountenancing them in that which is good; correcting them unduly;…” (Q. 130, Matt. 14:8) As you take this seriously and desire to faithful, this should fuel your desire to both seek and receive our care and nurture as we give you biblical counsel.
- Sometimes it’s easy to get stuck in our own heads. It’s easy to get tunnel vision and you can be dead set on doing something because you believe you’re right in doing it. You don’t need counsel because what you’re going to do is what you’re going to do. But Solomon has wise words to challenge you, convict, and guide you in Proverbs 12:15. Who is right in his own eyes? A fool. What is a fool? It’s a person whose attitude, speech, and behavior show an obstinate disregard for God’s wisdom. A fool has access to the truth, but rejects it being “right”, lit. “level” and pleasing to God in their own estimation. And what is the remedy? “but he who heeds counsel is wise.” For helpful application, what does it mean to “heed” counsel here? Know that heeding goes beyond counsel merely being sought. The Hebrew word presses the combination of attentive consideration and responsive obedience to you. Godly wisdom is evident when biblical counsel is truly heard and obeyed. Never forget, be thankful for, and attentively obedient to the words of your Lord Jesus in Luke 11:28, “blessed are those who hear the word of God and keep it!” By God’s grace, let us all seek to be faithful in this!
- Solomon gives you another helpful caution in Proverbs 11:14 regarding counsel being absent. He says, “Where there is no counsel, the people fall.” Though those who are right in their own eyes convince themselves that the path forward will be good, or at least better, what lies ahead? Their fall. Therefore, may that be truth that motivates the search for godly counsel. Who should you seek it from? Yes, your shepherds. You may also desire to reach out to family and friends. But, as Solomon teaches you, safety from a fall in foolishness isn’t found in the counsel of only one. No, in the multitude of counselors there is safety. It’s to your advantage to get the counsel of many. If they agree in their counsel, the path forward will be clearer. If they differ with each other, you can hear what is said on all sides and be the better able to discern what you should do.
- Consider King Rehoboam as he sought the counsel of the elders in 1 Kings 12:6. What counsel did they give? They said the king should be kind in his answer to the people. He needed to give them good words, serve them, and redress all their grievances. The people would then be faithful servants to him forever. (v. 7) But Rehoboam rejected their counsel and sought and followed the counsel of his young friends instead. They told him to treat the people harshly and add to their burden through increased punishment. (v. 10-11) The king paid the consequences for rejecting godly counsel and heeding that which was foolish. This is a helpful lesson for you. It’s important for you to seek biblical counsel and follow it, even when it’s hard and not what you wanted to hear. It’s important to follow the challenging path with your shepherds and not go to those who will tell you what you want to hear. The temptations are great, but what is godly remains for your good.
As much as these are good reasons to seek counsel, it’s good to seek such from your local shepherds first. This being said, a good question is- “Pastor, what things should I seek counsel from my shepherds for?” Since we are the watchers of your soul and are here to walk with you and your family through life’s hills and valleys, you should feel free to come to us for counsel about anything.
- If you have questions or need help with your faith, doctrine, or theology, come.
- If you’re listening to and chewing on doctrine or theology that is outside the bounds of Scripture or is such that you think your elders would disagree with, come early on in your reading and study.
- If you have big life decisions (relocation, job change, wrestling with leaving your church), come before you decide.
- When you rejoice or weep over significant events, come.
- If you have questions or need help with your family, marriage, parenting, work, walk, etc., come.
- If you have personal or interpersonal struggles with sin, come. If you need encouragement and comfort, come.
- If you’re beaten down and need to be lifted up, come.
Seek and heed your shepherds and we will seek to sharpen and strengthen you with the salve and grace of Christ, for His glory and your good.