“She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness. She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her.” – Proverbs 31:26-28
Building upon a solid foundation of godly wisdom in the Scriptures is of great benefit to virtuous young women today. So too is the application of that wisdom in the details of their lives. As we considered last week, growing in the grace and knowledge of Christ and their relationship with Him is essential for young Christian women. As you do so, young ladies, you find that you are blessed with a deeper love and grounding to keep His commandments. That grounding fuels more 5th Commandment fruit of your honor of your parents, of older women, and other superiors (Westminster Larger Catechism 124-126), while it also strengthens all due reverence for them “in heart, word, and behavior; prayer and thanksgiving for them; imitation of their virtues and graces; willing obedience to their lawful commands and counsels; due submission to their corrections;” (Westminster Larger Catechism 127).
Such growth in Christ and being well nourished by His Word also greatly benefits young women in the supply and maintenance of a gentle and quiet spirit that the Apostle Peter speaks of in godly women, and specifically godly wives in 1 Peter 3. Virtuous women not only display beauty in that spirit as they stand in the heritage of godly women long before them who trusted in God, adorned themselves with such beauty, being submissive to their own husbands, but there’s even more of a full-orbed view of godly virtue in the whole counsel of God. As I mentioned before, a large part of it is found in the description of the virtuous wife in Proverbs 31.
Young women, I have more wisdom for you to fill in more of the picture. Today, I write to you about the importance of patience, purity, discretion, kindness, and diligence.
- Patience- A patient woman is a blessing.It’s wise and right for young ladies to pray for the fruit of the Spirit wrought virtue of patience in your heart and life. For there is much that would seek to encourage and feed impatience in you. There is much that would like you to bathe in impatience, becoming more and more irritable, snippy, and quick tempered as you dwell longer and longer in it. Your siblings test your patience. Your parents test your patience. For some of you, your husband and children test your patience. It feels like it comes from all sides. Yet should you be Ok with being an impatient person? No. Where temptations try to lure you into impatience, persevering prayer and obedience to Christ help you through the fire. As you pray, remember that patience is the fruit and product of your going through the crucible of God’s testing and refinement. (James 1:3) The Holy Spirit builds patience in you as He stretches and challenges you, as He conforms you more to be like Christ. Never forget the praiseworthy patience of God! Never forget how patient He has be with you. Never forget how patient He is with you. Therefore, this kind of discomfort is good for your soul. As you’re discipled in patience, you grow in resting in the Lord, and waiting patiently for Him, despite what is going on in and around you. (Psalm 37:7) Indeed, tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. (Romans 5:4) Desire the good virtue and work of patience, ladies!
- Purity- A chaste and pure woman is a treasure. God is holy and calls you to be holy. (1 Peter 1:16) God is pure and righteous and calls you to flee youthful lusts and pursue righteousness. (2 Timothy 2:22) Purity in thought, word, and deed is so important and precious for you, young women. Don’t treat it lightly. For you can be easily swept away by unbridled passion that starts in your heart and shows in your words and behavior. Be watchful and alert for the many physical, emotional, and spiritual snares that come across your path! Preserve your chastity. As you do so, meditate on the purity of your Savior. He is the sinless Lamb of God who is without blemish or spot. (2 Corinthians 5:21, 1 Peter 1:19) Young men, as you also need to flee from youthful lusts, you need to be mindful to preserve chastity in yourselves and others. (Westminster Larger Catechism 138) Married young women, along with your husbands- respect, protect, and keep intimacy in your marriage pure. (Hebrews 13:4)
- Discretion and Kindness- A discreet and kind woman is to be praised. Take this lesson from the Proverbs 31 woman in our focus text above. There’s great value in a woman who opens her mouth wisely. When she does, notice all that she says is governed by the “law of kindness”. Indeed, the law of love and kindness is written in the heart, but it shows itself in the tongue. What is kindness? In the Hebrew here, it’s the law of “hesed” love (lovingkindness). In Greek, it’s a beautiful blend of goodness, grace, and compassion. This can be found in Christ’s call for being kind in Luke 6:35. Kindness is the will to do good and have compassion on others that is fueled by knowing and seeing more of Christ’s kindness towards you. Therefore, young women, refuse to be a gossip or slanderer. Refuse to be a busybody putting yourself in everyone else’s business. For neither gossip, or slander, can be found in Christ and His character. Far from it! Let kindness and mercy flow from your lips. As the Apostle Paul exhorts you and all saints in Romans 12:10, “Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another;” Consider also the wisdom of Christ in His words. He didn’t open His mouth before His oppressors. (Isaiah 53:7) When He did speak, He spoke words of truth and life.
- Diligence- A diligent woman is desirable. Notice the faithfulness in the day-to-day life described in the Proverbs 31 woman. She was watchful “over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.” She regularly reviewed and inspected her home and family to make sure things were running well. She wasn’t infrequent or lazy in doing so. Young women do well in being faithful to manage their affairs. If you’re married, seek the Lord’s grace to care for your husband and home well. If you have children, be mindful of their needs as well. The Proverbs 31 woman presents a balanced picture of the virtuous wife and her care. Among other skills and virtues, she provided food for her family (v. 15). She made clothing for her family (v. 21). Considering these things, what fruit blossomed? “Her children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her:” (v. 28) Young women, take note. Do you rise up and call your mother blessed? Do you pray for her? Do you praise God for her diligence and care? You need to. Husbands, do you praise your wife? You should be! Much of the time and work of a wife and mother is thankless. Pause and have a thankful heart for her! Your daughters need to see you doing so. Don’t take your wife for granted. See the work of Christ in her as she blesses you and your family! Praise God for the faithfulness of Jesus in loving, being watchful of, and providing for His family, the Church.
Ladies, as virtues are the most excellent qualities that you can have that reflect the character of God, I hope that you spend time in study to further develop and maintain these virtues in your life, among others. May our Lord bless and keep you. May He grow you more and more in godliness for your good, the blessing of your family, and for His glory.