“The older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things— that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.” – Titus 2:3-5
We must never forget and always teach and proclaim that there is wonderful, timeless, wisdom in the Scriptures for men and women, young and old, in all generations. There is a glorious heritage of godly, Christian men and women learning, standing upon, and passing on the torch of sound doctrine and godly living to their children and grandchildren, as their children and grandchildren are taught and encourage to do the same with the coming generations. I’m reminded of the Apostle Peter’s instruction to wives about biblical submission, godly virtues in their hearts and lives, and the heritage of godly women that came before them who held and walked according to such. In 1 Peter 3:3-6, he says,
“Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.”
It’s true that virtue doesn’t grow on trees. Neither does it grow naturally in the hearts of young girls, young women, and older women. No, biblical virtues are gifts from God. You may wonder what “virtues” are. They are the most excellent qualities that you can have that reflect the character of God. What virtues are good and desirable in women? You find many wonderfully listed in the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23), described in the Proverbs 31 woman, as well as listed in Paul’s words in Titus 2 above, among other passages. They are Spirit wrought, to be nurtured, shepherded, and developed by His work through godly fathers and mothers (Proverbs 1). Godly virtues are also to be encouraged, sharpened, and modeled in His work through older women who bear the fruit of being discipled in wisdom themselves coming alongside younger women to help them in their duties, especially with marriage and family.
Considering this…
- You shepherds and teachers of young women need to make sure you continue to be well nourished yourselves. You need to guard yourselves from falling into the “Do as I say, not as I do.” rut. If you find yourself there, go to the Lord, seek help to correct your thoughts and walk so that you can be in the right mindset and on the right road, before you offer more.
- You need to make sure the wisdom you impart is godly and grounded in Scripture. You need be watchful, pressing on daily in seeking to be faithful to God in your own walk so that what you teach and what you model are truly good for the precious, younger lambs to digest and follow.
- Don’t forget or overlook the babies, toddlers, and little ladies. Young women from the youngest of ages need encouragement, shepherding, and care in virtue and character development. Older mothers do well in supporting younger mothers through the challenges, questions, and joys of raising little ones, even many at the same time.
Young women, as your pastor, here are a few words of wisdom for you today. Let me start with some foundational thoughts.
- Growth in Knowledge and Grace- As you grow up and are taught the truths of the Bible by your parents and others, it’s important that you grow in knowing the truth, as well as in your own desire to read and study it more and more so that you grow in the grace and knowledge of Christ and feed upon His Word yourself. Listen to your father’s godly instruction, as well as godly law from your mother. (Proverbs 1) Follow and submit to your father’s lead, and imitate your mother’s godly walk. As you study, you will know more of who God is. Among other things, you will know more about His holiness and your sin. You’ll know more of who you are in relation to Him. By grace, you’ll see Jesus’ marvelous work of redemption in the Gospel more clearly. Having a deeper knowledge of these things will strengthen your faith and fuel your praise and worship of your King. Having a deeper knowledge of these things will, Lord willing, give you greater insight to see and grasp the great value His gift of virtues to you really is. You’ll desire them to be active and present in your life in obedience to Him and for His glory. If any of you didn’t have godly parents, if any of you are unmarried, if you have questions and feel at a loss, don’t worry. Come to your pastor and elders. We’ll help you. I also encourage you to seek out older women in the church for training in mentoring in virtuous and godly living.
- Obedience and Honor- From the youngest ages on, young women need to be taught to honor and obey their parents. Young ladies, you need to embrace and support this, not push against it, or try to push them away. You need to resist peer pressures, as well as not listen to bad counsel and examples from any who influence you. For your honor and obedience is pleasing to God. Indeed, honoring your father and mother is the first commandment with promise. (Exodus 20:12, Ephesians 6:2) As there are aspects of the parent-child relationship that shift over time, in adulthood and after marriage, parents, teach them what that means and what it looks like in their various ages and stages. Fathers, your daughters need to see and know your love, strength, and courage. Lead them well. They need to see godly and appropriate displays of love and kindness that you have for your wife, their mother. They need to know they are safe and protected under your care. Mothers, they need to know your love and care as well. They need to see you model godliness in your marriage and parenting. Your girls need to experience your tenderness, while after various attempts knowing you’re not a push over. They need to know and live within biblical boundaries. They need to know what sin is. They need to understand and experience the consequences of sin by receiving biblical discipline. Carry out these lessons and practices, along with others, with a focus of pointing them to Christ, that they would become more like Him, and grow in their relationship with their heavenly Father.
- Gentle and Quiet Spirit- Though Peter’s instruction in 1 Peter 3 was specifically to wives regarding their relationships with their husbands, the virtue of a gentle and quiet spirit is important for all future wives and single young ladies. In many ways, having such is foundational and connected to many other virtues. What does a gentle and quiet spirit look like? It’s displaying the gentleness of Christ in your words and life. A gentle and quiet spirit is composed and calm. It’s not contentious. It’s void of pride, sinful anger, and aggression. Ladies, rightly order and command your own spirit, with the fruit of self-control, as you seek to walk in accord with God’s Word. Run to Jesus when thoughts and emotions that would disquiet your soul and light your fuse start to bubble up within. Young women, this applies to you as you grow up in your family, with your siblings, with your friends, and in relationships in the church. There will be times of testing. Will you pass the tests with the virtue of patience? Ladies, whether you have a husband, or will be looking for a future husband, note Peter’s application for your marriage. As you are submitting to your husband biblically, your gentle and quiet spirit is a great blessing to him and is precious to God as the Spirit works in guiding and guarding your words and relationship with your husband for His glory. Wives, can such a spirit be attested to in your marriage? If not, again, go to Christ often and regularly with your petitions regarding what needs to change and seek His grace.
I hope this is encouraging and helpful for you. More to come in the next edition.
My love to y’all in Christ,
Pastor Miller
For further reading: “Female Piety: The Young Woman’s Guide through Life to Immortality” by John Angell James