“She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household is clothed with scarlet.” – Proverbs 31:21
“My son, keep your father’s command, and do not forsake the law of your mother.” – Proverbs 6:20
“He who mistreats his father and chases away his mother is a son who causes shame and brings reproach.” – Proverbs 19:26
“The rod and rebuke give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.” – Proverbs 29:15
Among all of the passages of Scripture that teach you wonderful doctrine about motherhood, the Spirit’s words through Solomon in Proverbs provide a rich theology in wisdom that lays out many good characteristics of a godly mother. The four passages I listed above are really just the tip of the iceberg in all that you can glean on the subject therein. Indeed, there are rich connections in what is true of a godly mother that flow from the foundation of her being a godly woman. You can read more of my writing on godly womanhood in my Godly Men & Women series.
It’s true that the world marginalizes, twists, and seeks to destroy God’s design for godly mothers. Satan loves to bring confusion where there was once clarity to both design and practice. He loves to get mothers doubting and in despair. “How am I supposed to be a good mother? What am I supposed to do with my child(ren)? I feel like I can do very little, if anything right with them. I feel like a failure.” Have any of these questions and thoughts crossed your mind? Have any of them been part of what you’ve shared with your husband, or have taken to Jesus in prayer for help?
It’s also true that there many lures in your fast paced, high need, multi-task required life that dangle in front of your face, that tug, and try to take you away in mind and/or body from your children so that your effective care for them is hindered. It’s true that a mother’s life is often exhausting. Many mothers can often feel like they’re not valued, or feel isolated and overwhelmed in various times and seasons of motherhood. Because these truths are on an even longer list, it’s good and right that much prayer, care, encouragement is offered for you mothers, as you seek to be godly in your walk and service today!
What does God teach us should be characteristic of such a mother? Here are 6 to consider:
- Knows God and wants Him to be known- This is an essential, foundational piece. As a godly mother loves the Lord her God and grows in godliness, she desires the same for her children. Do you have a sincere desire for your children to know Christ and grow more and more in the knowledge and grace of Him, becoming more like Him? (2 Corinthians 5:17, Romans 12:2)
- Serves in a right role in her marriage and family-A godly mother shows what it is to be a godly wife by gracefully submitting to her husband and modeling godly, biblical submission for her children. (Ephesians 5:22-24) Even, and especially when husbands and fathers struggle and fail, godly mothers are intentional to not bad-mouth them to their children. They rather model love, patience, forgiveness, and reconciliation in word and example. Single mothers can be godly mothers as they teach their children God’s plan for marriage and demonstrate purity and wisdom in doctrine and practice in their own lives.
- Faithful in prayer and devotion- A godly mother is a woman who has a regular and growing devotional life. Mothers, this is tied to the first characteristic above, as you know God and your growth in devotion to Him then bears fruit in growing devotion, and the expressions of it, towards your children and family in thick and thin. Think upon Hannah’s enduring prayers for Samuel in 1 Samuel 1:27 “For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me my petition which I asked of Him.” A godly mother is also one who has a burden for her children and their well-being spiritually, physically, and emotionally. She therefore prays regularly, even shedding many tears as she raises her petitions to her listening Lord. Further, a godly mother prays for her children who are faithful, any who wander, and any who are lost. (Jeremiah 31:15-17)
- Faithful in skilled provision- The Proverbs 31 woman gives you a model of a woman who gains and uses skills that are helpful for her family. Whether it be making or acquiring winter clothes (Proverbs 31:21), or feeding, or providing other things for her husband and children, a godly mother carries out this duty of thoughtful care in the details for them.
- Loves and trains her children- A godly mother doesn’t sacrifice her children, but rather loves her children sacrificially, like Christ does. (1 Thessalonians 2:7, John 15:13) She teaches them to imitate her as she imitates Christ. (1 Corinthians 11:1)
- A godly mother has a tender and persevering compassion towards her children. (Isaiah 49:15). She seeks to be kind, patient, and gentle with them. (Galatians 5:22-23) A godly mother seeks to be faithful in practicing self control, especially when her kids push her buttons time and again. (Proverbs 16:32) Therefore, she is also wise and consistent in disciplining, both through instruction and correction. Train up a child in the way he should go. (Proverbs 22:6, Proverbs 6:20, Proverbs 29:15) With her husband, a godly mother teaches her children things related to academics or etiquette, her girls how to be godly young women, and her boys about how to be godly young men.
- Mothers, consistency in biblically disciplining your children is challenging and exhausting, especially when you have a good number of kids. Let me encourage you to not give up. Rather, 1) seek the Lord’s grace in you and His grace in your children so that discipline given through teaching, example, spanking, restrictions, etc. may be given properly and received effectively. As you discipline them, give them loving lessons about the need for obedience. Lovingly reinforce their right practice of confessing sin, repentance, and forgiveness. 2) While you selflessly give of yourself for your children, make sure you’re also doing things to stay healthy and refreshed. Not only is this good for you and your family, but it’s a good teaching example to them as well.
- Many women, especially young women, in our society struggle with how they see themselves and their value in Christ due to childhood wounds or comparison with others. Can you relate to this? A godly mother has grown, and continues to grow, in seeing herself as Christ sees her. Therefore, she can teach and model the way a godly woman should both see and present herself to her children. A godly mother has also grown to not desire to gain attention or a sense of worth through how she dresses, acts, or relates to others. (1 Peter 3:3–4) Rather, she takes joy in acting and dressing modestly. She delights in modeling proper, God-honoring behavior to her children.
- Models godly service- Children need regular and ongoing reminders that they were created for God, and serving Him is their highest calling. (Colossians 1:16) A godly mother will model such service in her own life and involve her children in serving others. It’s true that our children often struggle in various ways and complain when they are learning to serve. A godly mother is patient, but firm and encouraging, reminding them of the biblical reasons for and blessings of their service. Mothers, there is good reason to require your children, to do what’s right in serving the Lord and others and not accept excuses for them not to.
Young women and young men, take note. Husbands and fathers, encourage your wife from the Word and in the Lord in these areas. Pray with and for her. Support her in her calling.
Christian mothers, I know this is a lot to chew on. However, I pray this devotion is helpful resource for further study and application in your life. Take comfort in the Spirit’s presence and work in your sanctification, especially in your journey through motherhood. As there are likely times and seasons when you feel like you’re struggling and grasping for air as a mother who needs rescue and relief, look to your Lord Jesus in those moments. Seek His gracious help and support in Bible study and prayer, praying that He would calm and strengthen your heart and body directly, or by other means according to His will. Keep in mind, those are important times to lean on your husband. God is also often pleased to use your sisters in Christ to bring you aid. Church, prayerfully be attentive to the needs of mothers in your midst. May our Lord grant you much grace so that you have joy as a mother. May the Spirit extend grace to you and grow you in skill and love so that your care for your children in the ups and downs would be a beautiful testimony of Christ and a blessing to your family and all who watch you. Indeed, may your children and husband rise up and called you blessed! Amen.